I’m a Bad Mom

That’s right…

I’m a BAD MOM. (insert shoulder shrug emoji)

And you know what?  I’m okay with it!

The other day, as I was getting my “scroll” on after the kids were in bed, I came across a blog that a friend of mine chose to share.  I don’t think this person shared this particular blog maliciously.  I think it was more of a way to publicly pat herself on the back for the parenting win of not giving her kids screen time.  Anyways…

This blog post had some kind of “research” that stated “handing your kid a phone/ipad was the equivalent of giving them 5 mg of cocaine”…

WHAT?!

My blood immediately began to boil and I haven’t been able to shake it since.  I’m so tired.  So very, very tired of the shaming!  Thank you for dumping that load of mom guilt laundry on top of the piles that already lay there unfolded.

I let my kids have their iPads at some point EVERY day…if they’ve earned it.  So according to their post, I am essentially “killing” my child with this cocaine addiction…WRONG.

My kids are cared for, they’re loved, they’re kind, they’re determined and SMART.

I thank some of the apps on their iPads for teaching them their letters and the sounds they make.  I thank the videos they watch for giving them creative ideas on new games to play together or crafts to make.  I thank their iPads for my SANITY.  It is the one time during the day that I get a moment to myself.  I can shower uninterrupted.  I can workout without being asked for a snack or whacking one of them with a weight.  I can have a meal without having to share it or reheat it.  When I have that sanity, I’m a better mom!

Can we stop being judgmental?  Can we stop the mom shaming?  We’re all doing our best!  As long as our kids aren’t neglected, as long as they’re fed, as long as they know what LOVE feels like…we’re doing it right.

You breastfed? You’re a great mom!
You formula fed? You’re a great mom!
You homeschool? You’re a great mom!
Public? You’re a great mom!
You stay home? You’re a great mom!
You work? You’re a great mom!

Who is anyone to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do?!  Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you are “less than” for the choices you made. I will refer to them from now on as “Mom Shaming Sharons”…quit being a Sharon!

I’m currently reading Brene Brown’s Braving the Wilderness (seriously buy it/download it/read it) and I really enjoyed the chapter titled “People Are Hard to Hate Close Up.  Move In.”  It essentially tells us how easy it is to say you hate someone/a group of people when you don’t know them.  Once you take the time to know most people…there’s a lot more to like about them than there is to hate.  This is even true when you disagree on most topics.  My best friend and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum and she’s the first person I’d choose to be stranded on an island with.

So, the next time you see a mom hand her kid a soda, an iPad, a lollipop, or whatever it may be.  Take a step closer instead of a step back and slide that judgement in your back pocket.  No one needs it.

Now I’m going to hand my kids their iPads and give that research a giant middle finger…because it’s bullshit.  The end result of the screen time I give my kids will not be an addiction that leads to death.  Quit thinking you’re better than the next mom and do you.

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These Kids are HAPPY and LOVED

One thought on “I’m a Bad Mom

  1. Great post Amber! Too many people will tell you how to do it without walking in your shoes. I’m proud of you, Ethan and your children. Barbara

    Like

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